A blurb from my journal entry on April 22, 2018… a year ago today.
“Well, it’s Sunday night, and it’s my last Sunday here in this apartment in Gainesville, and I am extremely sad about it. For the past two weeks I wore a sling for my shoulder, I finished The Purpose Project (releasing tomorrow), and I graduate in 2 weeks from today. I am in such a limbo state, super busy but shut down. I’m confused, yet content. I am nervous Lord…. Help me to place my complete trust in You. My future is approaching quickly, but I know You are already there ready to embrace me. Thank you for your goodness.”
Why do I share this? Because I have been reflecting today on God’s faithfulness, favor, and grace. Part of it is because Easter was yesterday, but mostly I’ve been reminiscing on where I was mentally, spiritually, and emotionally last year. I was so panicked and nervous… My senior project was due, and I wanted it to be perfect. Looking back, it seems so crazy that I was so worried about it. Isn’t it funny that the things we were worried about a year ago don’t really affect us the same way today? Heck even the things we were worried about a week ago have been replaced with today’s worries!
Many of you already know the story, but what you don’t know is where I am at now with the Purpose Project. You see, when you are working on something creatively like a book, film, painting, or even a blog it’s easy to think that you are only producing something for an audience.
I watched the Purpose Project again today. Honestly, I haven’t watched it in forever. I forgot I even did it with how busy I’ve been with chasing the next thing. What I have found on the flip side of the Purpose Project is my own personal need for this piece.
A lot has changed since last year… my circles, my city, my home, my desires, my fears, my hurt, and my perspective have changed. Maybe you feel the same way. Maybe you were in a relationship this time last year, maybe you were pregnant last year, maybe you were working a different job, maybe a loved one was here on earth this time last year… seasons change, circles change, circumstances change, valleys change, and people change… but Purpose doesn’t.
I think that is what brings me to tears when I reflect. I had no idea that what I was producing with The Purpose Project was for me. Not in a vain way, but in a unique way. The Lord knew I was about to enter a season of massive change and confusion. The stage of life where nothing seems to make sense, the stage of life where your dreams seem crazy and far off, the stage of life that is far from the infrastructure of a system.
I want to challenge you to take a moment and reflect on your circumstances from this time last year. Or even further back to a few years ago. Think of the suffering you endured that produced strength, think of the growth you’ve incurred, think of the evidence of God’s faithfulness… and then trust Him to do it again…
Without recapping the Purpose Project too much, I just want to encourage you that your purpose hasn’t changed. Whether you are in a valley, on cloud nine, graduating soon, getting married soon, going through a divorce, in a season of loneliness, in a season where you feel like you need to clean up your act, or in a season of pure joy… your purpose in life has not changed and neither has your hope.
I am no longer a student at UF, no longer working at a restaurant, no longer worried about my senior project, and no longer in a sling for my shoulder surgery. Seems silly to point out, but I just want to encourage you that life and its circumstances do not dictate who you are and what you are called to do. This is more of a challenge to step into a season of pursuit, a season of joy, as you watch God declare victory over your life.
I wish I could go back and hug the Brookie in April 2018 and tell her that everything is going to be okay and that God is going to provide a new circle of amazing friends, a great new job, and unleash favor on her dreams. But more than anything, I hope that my vulnerable display of reflection entices you to look back on God’s faithfulness and use it as an anchor for hope. He doesn’t change and He hasn’t forgotten about you… no matter how messy your life seems to be right now.