Since I turn 22 today, and my birthday falls on December 22, I thought it would be cool if I wrote out 22 things I have learned this past year. So here it is:
- I’ve learned how to drive in L.A. haha and I hated it. I have way. Too. Much. Road. Rage.
- I’ve learned that I suck at walking in heels for a long time. Vegas taught me this. I cry.
- I’ve learned how to run 8 miles without stopping.
- I’ve learned how to cook salmon without it crumbling before I put it on my plate.
- I’ve learned that hurt people, hurt people, but forgiveness can always transcend if you trust Jesus to help you.
- I’ve learned that true spiritual healing is found in Scripture and spending time with Christ.
- I’ve learned that sometimes you need to play some loud rap music and dance in your mirror on long-draining days. (talk about an adrenaline rush)
- I’ve kinda learned how to keep score for Tennis matches.
- I’ve learned how to listen to people better. That to be a good listener, you must be intentional with your questions.
- I’ve learned that God’s plan for my life is not subject to any human hand or stipulation.
- I’ve learned that my Heavenly Father will never give up on me, that He will always fight on my behalf (Exodus 14:14).
- I’ve learned that I absolutely suck at being patient at times.
- I’ve learned how to read a TelePrompTer better.
- I’ve learned how to pray more boldly.
- I’ve learned that the best way to heal bouts of depression is to serve others and make them your mind’s priority.
- I’ve learned that Miller Lite originated in Wisconsin.
- I’ve learned that if you press your pointer fingernail underneath of your thumbnail it’ll keep you from crying.
- I’ve learned that the closest galaxy to the Milky Way is 2.5 million light years away and is named Andromeda.
- I’ve learned that Andromeda means “to be mindful of a man” which makes sense because this galaxy is the closest to ours which contains mankind. (httpss://www.behindthename.com/name/andromeda)
- I’ve learned that when I am most confused or uncertain that I can look at creation and be reminded of my Creator’s attention for detail and concern for me.
- I’ve learned that age 21 was the year (so far) that I have grown the most.
- I’ve learned that God is willing to stop me in my tracks. He will always act when I grow complacent, He will always rise to the occasion, He will always lead, and He will always love me. Therefore, He will never let me down.
This next season of life I am about to enter is exciting and nerve racking at the same time. I graduate college, I will hopefully accept a new job, I could possibly move to a different city, and so much more! I know 22 will rock my socks off (who even says that anymore lol) because all of my other years of living have been truly astounding and adventure filled!
“And as You speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapour of Your breath the planets form
If the stars were made to worship so will I”
I am in a season of life where I am learning to walk welcomed. The Lord has been gracing me with a reoccurring lesson, and I can hear His voice saying: You have a seat at the table, my dear. Like literally no joke, the softness of His voice and presence is instilling in me the fact that He has a feast prepared for me. Now before I lose you, I want to tell you up front the point I am getting at here. You have a purpose and God has a plan for you.
We ALL go through life searching for our purpose or for “God’s plan”. We preach Jeremiah 29:11, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” If you’re like me, you read that and think “Oh thank God! He cares about my future and I’ll be prosperous and hopeful and have happiness drape my entire life”. Then the unexpected hits, am I right? You lose a job, you switch your major (talking to myself here, by the grace of God I’ll finally graduate in the Spring), your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you, your parents decide to move to a different state, your spouse cheats on you, your kids go wayward, you get the point. Then you’re like okay, what’s the freaking deal here? I thought His plan for me was to prosper me, not harm me?? Or maybe it isn’t disastrous at all. For me personally it’s about taking the next step after I graduate. Will I get a job in TV? Will I get married? Will I write a book? Will I be a bartender forever (God bless…)? Will I be a missionary?
So, before I try a sloppy attempt at telling you what God’s personal plan for your life is, I am going to tell you a silly story that your homegirl Brooke Maratta was the main character of. It starts off with my inability to know the difference between two restaurants…
One night, my friends invited me to dinner at Olive Garden. I don’t really know how or why or what the heck is wrong with me, but I showed up at Red Lobster…. To give myself some credit here, they are across the street from each other in my hometown, so I am not that dumb. I must’ve been so busy that day that I wasn’t really paying attention to the dinner plans. I am sure that has happened to more people than just me… right??? You know when you are so busy and someone is trying to make plans with you in advance, so you politely agree but at the forefront of your mind is a complete different task or agenda? That’s what happened to me that night. I got to the restaurant and told the hostess that I was meeting a party of 4 and that they should already be here by now. I told her the name and she says “Ma’am, I’m sorry we don’t have that name on the list”. Okay… I work in a restaurant, so I instantly think “this chick doesn’t know what she’s doing… I know my friends are here!” So, I took matters into my own hands and searched each section of the restaurant. Un- freakin-believable. My friends must’ve ditched me because I could NOT find them anywhere in the restaurant. Maybe the time changed? Maybe they already ate? Maybe they cancelled and didn’t have the courtesy to tell me? So, I texted my friends and asked them “What the heck is going on?? I am at Red Lobster and you aren’t here!”. “Lol” they replied, “Brookie… we are at Olive Garden, not Red Lobster. No one ever said Red Lobster.” It’s funny now, but in the moment, I am like how the heck did I miss that? Did I make it up? I must’ve been half checked in the conversation when we made plans and jumped to conclusions. I never actually verified or checked in with my friends about the plans.
When I got to Olive Garden, I told the hostess my name, she escorted me to my friend’s table, and my friends had a seat saved and ready for me! We laughed about my silly mishap, we talked about how awkward I was walking into Red Lobster like a complete noob, and we had a wonderful Italian meal full of laughter and fun!
Some of you may already know where I am going with this… hang tight… this applies to you.
The Wrong Restaurant Syndrome: (I completely made this phrase up. When it reaches Wikipedia, make sure you define it as “coined by Brooke Maratta”)
When it comes to God’s plan in your life, perhaps you are in the “wrong restaurant”. In the wrong restaurant, you search everywhere for your people, your reservation, your seat, your date, your table… then you get frustrated. You say to yourself “un-freakin-believable” some friends they are… or some God He is… I thought He was going to prosper me. But the moment you realize you were in the wrong restaurant and you enter the right one, you cue a sigh of relief. You are almost treated like royalty am I right? You walk in, the hostess greets you (they actually know what they are doing), and they escort you right to your table, but not only to your table but to your seat. For me personally, I just got out of a season of life where I was like, “okay God, this is what I want. I think this would be great, and I know You love me, so You want my plans to succeed!” To put it plainly… I was in the wrong flipping restaurant. I didn’t check in with Him, I just assumed. I assumed that this is what He had planned for my life, and when I found out it wasn’t I was left feeling unloved and upset. Surely this can’t be the God that loves me, I am depressed and left feeling empty. Did plans change and He didn’t have the courtesy to tell me? Did He forget about me? Did I miss God’s plan??
I’ve come to realize that God doesn’t switch up plans last minute, He doesn’t trick you, or disinvite you because you aren’t qualified, He isn’t out to harm you or frustrate you. He isn’t out to get you. Perhaps, it is us. We aren’t checking in with Him, listening to His voice, asking Him what the plans are. If he is taking you out to dinner wouldn’t you trust that He is going to take care of the reservation, the seating arrangements, and not to mention the bill? I am learning that when you are where you need to be, like truly where you need to be, because you asked Him and asked what He has for you… Jeremiah 29:11 swings into full effect. I am in a season of life where I am timidly approaching my seat at the table. I am embarrassed that I was at the “wrong restaurant”, I am nervous to sit down next to Him, I am worried I am overdressed or underdressed, I am worried if I’ll have enough money to pay for my food, and I am worried that He is upset with me for not listening. Are there enough seats? Should I have just gone home and hid?
No, no, no my love. I have set apart this feast for you. I see your heart, and I know your appetite. I know your likes and your dislikes. Order what you want, I have everything you could ever need or want. And don’t worry about the bill, I already paid that in full. You have a seat at the table. It’s not anyone else’s, I didn’t merely squeeze you in. It’s your seat. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy every delight set before you.
I want to leave you with this, your Holy and Heavenly Father does not want you lost in the wrong story, He doesn’t want you searching around for your seat at the table, and He doesn’t want you to feel abandoned. He loves you, and He waits patiently for you at the table He has set before you! Don’t get lost in the wrong restaurant, check in with Him and see where He is at! He’s a gentleman; He won’t cancel on you.
Jeremiah wrote to the people of Judah about his struggle (same guy who told us about God’s great plans for us in Jeremiah 29:11):
“The thought of my suffering and homelessness
is bitter beyond words.
I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”
The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
So, it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.”
At first, I did not want to write on the topic of heartbreak, like at all… mainly because I felt like I didn’t have enough insight or good advice for it… But over the past few months, so many of my friends have come to me telling me about their breakups and how it has left them feeling worthless and hopeless.
This past week at my Community Group (fancy way of saying Bible Study), we discussed different seasons of life and why the valleys of life seem so permanent. Maybe you just went through a major break up and are suffering from depression, and this season doesn’t seem like it has an end. Or perhaps you think this hurt will last forever. Now, before you think I am just gonna say, “Jesus is your only hope, and He will heal your broken heart”, you’re wrong… I mean you’re right… that is my message to you, but there is so much more beauty involved. So, I am going to share some of my thoughts…
To start, I think it is best to address the advice we get when heartache hits. Here are some prominent ones:
- “Forget him (or her), you deserve way better”
- “God has a plan for you, and he (or she) isn’t in that plan”
- “God won’t give you something you can’t handle”
- “When you meet your soul mate this will all make sense”
- “Time will heal this, you will wake up one day and it won’t hurt anymore”
I am not bashing any of these responses to heart ache, nor am I saying that I’ve never used them, but what I am saying is this: these are quick attempts at putting a Band-Aid over a wound that really needs a surgeon. I had a friend tell me recently that her boyfriend was cheating on her… ouch. I’ve cried alongside friends who feel absolutely worthless now that their significant other decided to leave their lives… horrible! I sit there and try to muster up the right words to say. “Jesus loves you, He will redeem this, He will heal you, He is your defender” … seriously all of these things are so true, but how come we can’t just say it once and then be done?
How come they don’t convince us out of heart ache and depression? How come we still wake up every morning crying? How come we lose our appetite? How come when we are in a conversation with someone about toothpaste or the weather the name of the one we lost is running in the background like a virus on a computer? How come the fun memories seem so much closer than the heartbreak that was inflicted on us? Why does it hurt us if we know it was for the best that the relationship ended? After all, Jesus loves us and God has a plan, right??
It is important to understand that there is no timetable to healing. Healing is awkward, frustrating, hurtful, and laborious. I’ve met people who have been divorced for 20 plus years and are still dealing with insecurities and depression from that chapter of their lives. It is absolutely heart wrenching to hear. Some of my gal pals say to me “Brooke, I have tried getting over this. I pray every day about it and my heart still hurts. I want to trust that God has a plan, but I feel like my world is caving in on me”. If this is how you feel right now, there is a solution. It’s better than merely straightening up your life and going to church, it’s better than losing hair over it, it’s better than crying yourself to sleep, it’s better than popping anti-depressants, it’s better than smoking yourself into a trance, it’s better than drinking your long nights away, and it’s better than reading one Bible verse and expecting God to take the stinger out of your heart. We need to understand that we were created by love and for love, and when something that provided us with love is stripped from us, we feel unlovable and like true love doesn’t exist. You thought you had it and now you don’t. Our hearts then have these unfillable holes where someone once was and we are left sitting in the middle of our hurt alone.
BUT here is how you begin healing from your heartbreak: cling to the truth that
The king of this universe loves you.
That’s it. Boom heart ache gone, right?
Alright lemme get to my point. One more side note: I’ve also heard that it is easier to get over someone if another person comes along and starts pursuing you and “shows you what real love is supposed to feel like” … that sounds nice… lol.
When you are in a relationship, you start to self-identify with that person, you pick up their mannerisms, you enjoy the same things, you laugh together, travel together, heck people even sleep together, and there you go intimacy is created and you are bonded with that person forever. The problem lies within the fact that when those things are stripped from you it leaves you in complete shambles.
It’s almost like you need someone to come pursue you and show you what real love feels like.
There is only one intimacy, one relationship, one love that will never leave you. And that is Jesus. He’s the Healer. When worth is seemingly pried from you, you must remember that your Father in Heaven knew that sin, selfishness, cheating, depression, sex, death, drugs, gossip, abandonment would hit you and would hit hard. He didn’t inflict this pain upon you. If we are going to truly believe in Romans 8:28 that “All things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose” Then we MUST trust that He is inherently good. And I know this sucks to hear, but that does not mean “oh God doesn’t want me sad and everything works together for the good of those who love Him, and well I love Him, so I know he/or she will walk back into my life because what we had was ‘good’…and God is ‘good’”.
C’mon guys that is cheap. That is a small appetite. He is a God of abundance, not just quick fixes. He is a God of truth that sets us free, not a lie that confuses us of His plan for our lives.
That break-up you are going through, His son, Jesus conquered the pits of hell for it. It broke His heart. It breaks His heart. Jesus hung on a cross and made eye contact with your very soul, and said “It is finished”. He said “yeah… I don’t want her feeling like that.” “I don’t want him dealing with depression alone when his girlfriend leaves.” “I love you.” He declared that the disparities of this life would have no grip on you. The best thing to do when dealing with a perpetuating heartbreak would be to remind yourself of those truths. I don’t think it does us much good to try and figure out God’s master plan for our lives when it comes to this hurt. Sure, it could be to marry someone later in life who equips you better for spreading God’s love and the Kingdom, but that isn’t a matter we are supposed to be involved in, and thank God for that. His plans for us don’t make sense to us at times, that is why He reveals little glimpses in His timing to keep us trusting in Him and reliant on Him.
Stop trying to self soothe.
Think of it this way. Have you ever tried putting a baby to sleep? You place them in the crib, make their rooms dark, and put on the sound maker with waves crashing in the background. Then you watch them on the nifty baby cam and see that they are crying and fussing, having a full-blown panic attack. They try sucking their thumbs, they spit their passies out, they change positions, I’ve seen a baby attempt to throw themselves out of their crib onto the wood floor. I’m like “this baby is freakin’ nuts and needs some NyQuil…” But as soon as you walk in there and pick them up, what happens? It’s like automatic stillness. Immediately, when being rocked in your arms listening to your voice whisper them songs and encouraging tones: “it’s okay baby, it’s okay. I am here. Shhh. It’s okay” they fall asleep. It’s so insane, it’s instant. The sound, the touch, the motion, and the security of someone else is what relieves them of their impending fear of being alone.
Now picture your life and your mess of a heartbreak. You talk about it, you stress about it, you stalk his or hers Facebook, you read a Psalms, you go to Church, you hit up a new boo in the DM’s, you post a selfie, you text them your thoughts, you sit in your abandonment from a divorce 20 years ago, you vent to your kids about their mom/or dad that left, you cuss, you cry, you try to throw yourself out of the crib onto the hardwood floor.
What if you knew, I mean truly knew that your Savior is on the other side of your hurt ready to hold you, rock you, and embrace you.
These silly attempts at self-soothing may be necessary and natural at first, but when you hear His tender whisper and fix your eyes on the cross, and rest in His unending grace and love for you, the other tactics begin to fade and you begin to experience true rest and healing. One of the best things about this secure love is, He doesn’t grow weary or tired of hearing your same insecurities. He doesn’t care if it’s been 5 minutes since the initial heartbreak or 50 years… He is the God of Israel who spent 450 years listening to the Israelites complaints and doubts about His providential rescue (Acts 13:17-22). He is the God of the Psalmists who crafted 150 chapters worth of brutal honesty and opinions of their enemies. He is the God of Joseph who spent years in slavery, dealt with accusations, and confusion of being forgotten (Genesis 37). And He is the God of you and me. He is the God who sees how much this heartbreak affects you. He is the God who literally catches your tears. He is the God who is fighting on your behalf and says be still (Exodus 14:14). He is the God who guards and defends you in Heavenly Realms (Psalm 34:7).
That is true love.
True love doesn’t cheat, confuse, or abandon. True love makes every other form of love pale in comparison. I get it: you still naturally crave for that person to be back in your life, you listen to a song that reminds you of the good times, you see them for the first time in months, and it hurts. You dwell on the should’ve could’ve would’ves. You wish for your heart to feel whole again, but you know if by some magical chance they’ve changed and you get back together that it would never be the same. It would just be an attempt to ignore the cracks of a broken relationship to “feel something again”. But let me tell you my dear friend, God has a plan for you. He longs for you to feel His unending love in every moment and every hour of the day to bring glory to His name. The cross was His plan of rescue, and His rescue rings true today even in the midst of your heartbreak. He will use this. He will redeem this. And He will embrace you as you waltz into eternity. This type of love is real. It is full of action, might, grace, and tenacity.
This type of love allows the cheating, the lying, the feeling of worthlessness and doubt from an earthly relationship grow insignificant. So, my dear friends, as you heal and as you hurt, as you laugh and as you cry, as you cuss and as you pray, please remember that God’s intention isn’t for you to just merely feels scraps of love here on earth but to experience His eternal-sustaining love that was set in motion long before you existed. What a beautiful exchange.
He hears you. He is healing you. He loves you.
Psalm 55:4-8; 16-19a
“My heart pounds in my chest. The terror of death assaults me.
Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking.
Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest!
I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness.
How quickly I would escape- far from this wild storm of hatred.
But I will call on God, and The Lord will rescue me.
Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice.
He ransoms me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me,
Though many still oppose me. God who has ruled forever will hear me…”
hope y’all are young enough to catch the Drake reference
1. Ya Snooze Ya Lose
If you’re like me… then you probably set 4-5 alarms the night before, and they are all probably 2 minutes apart, haha. Unfortunately, research shows that this form of waking up is not ideal for you or your body. When you wake yourself up and then immediately fall back to sleep, you are tricking your body. When the alarm goes off, your body is awake and ready to start the day, but when you hit snooze to snag a few more hours of sleep, your body thinks “Oh, okay I guess we are not getting up…”. Sleep specialist Dr. Rafael Pelayo, MD, from Stanford University’s Sleep Medicine Center says that this type of interrupted sleep will leave you feeling more groggy. He suggests that deep restorative sleep is way better, and when you are in and out of sleep from hitting snooze, you can’t reach that refreshing feeling of a full night’s sleep (Pelayo). Don’t worry y’all, I am still working on this one… I hit snooze 5 times this morning…
I have found that the best way to start off my day is with a little bit of thanks and praise!
Okay, I am done with hashtags and simple rhymes for this one…
But in all honesty, it is so easy for me to wake up and be bombarded with to-do lists and worries from the day before. I think God gives us rest and recovery for a reason! When I start my mornings off thanking Him for what He has done in my life and praying for His presence to be felt that day, I am much more cheerful! For those of you who don’t know me: I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!
3. Make Your Bed
Growing up, my parents always forced me to make my bed in the mornings before school. I would be all ready and packed up for school and my dad would look at me and say, “Brooke, I know you didn’t make your bed… we aren’t leaving until you do”. As I mentioned before, I am not a morning person, so yeah wasn’t a big fan of that one…
Now that I am “adulting”, I am super thankful for that small daily discipline. I think when you make your bed, it allows for a clean homework/work space, keeps the clutter down (if you’re like me, messiness clouds my simple thought processes: I thrive in clean environments), and it helps you reset each morning! My logic as a kid along with many other people was always “Why make your bed if you’re just gonna ruin it to sleep in later?” My logical laziness still sides with this argument, but I love walking into my room after a long day of work or classes and see that my bed is made ready for me to sprawl out! Don’t knock it till you try it ?
4. Start Day Drinking
I know it’s five o’clock somewhere, but I am not talking alcohol here. Drink some H2O, yo! Not only are you dehydrated from sleeping for close to 8 hours without drinking water, it is also important to drink water to kick start your metabolism for the day. “Researchers suggest that 90 minutes after drinking cold water will boost your metabolism by 24% over the average metabolism rate” (MyFit). Water helps with digestion, brain function, and keeps your tummy fuller!
5. Eat Breakfast
I am not gonna go into a deep discussion here because I have tons of friends who do not like to eat breakfast or “aren’t breakfast people” to which I roll my eyes because I think it is very important to break your 8 hour fast with some fuel to start your day. Even if it’s just a banana, c’mon people!
6. Feed Your Soul
This one goes along with #1. More than any other, this is the most vital to my morning routine. I completely understand and acknowledge that not everyone will agree which is cool, I am not a doctor, therapist, pastor, or dietician so y’all can skip over all of these tips and probably be fine haha, but this is one I truly want to elaborate on.
*As I have mentioned throughout, I am not a morning person. I still wake up early and hate sleeping in. But what I mean is no matter what time I wake up, I have puffy eyes and a bad attitude. Give me 1 hour to wake up before you talk to me, plz n thank u.*
I have to, I mean I have to read Scripture in the morning. I have to remind myself that the Creator of the universe is bigger than this world, bigger than my problems, and bigger than me. I have to learn more about God’s character and grace in order to grow and thrive in the season I am placed in. I do not know what this looks like for you. I know mornings aren’t ideal for spending 30 minutes in the Bible especially if you don’t know where to start or find boredom in reading for 30 minutes (ehem… me). Personally, I like to read a blog from desiringgod.org (5min read tops), or a daily Bible Verse from my app, or read a chapter from a book in the Bible, journal about it, and pray for application. Right now, I am in the book of Acts, and boy am I learning a lot!
Hebrews 8:1 says, “Now the main point in what has been said is this: we have such a high priest, who has taken His seat at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in the heavens,”
Now picture this, your Father in Heaven on His throne, wakes you up each morning with a gentle whisper and a smile. He sustains your sleep and brings forth joy each morning (Psalm 30:5). Yes, loud alarms wake up our bodies, wake up our stresses, remind us of our daily duties, and sometimes wake up your kids or spouse, but the Spirit of the Lord wakes up our souls, wakes up our will to live for His kingdom and delight in His goodness. I’d rather perceive my wake-up calls as gentle hugs from my Savior than the “radar” tone on my iPhone alarm. Days start off better with Jesus, but don’t take my word for it, see for yourself!
Thanks for reading! Feel free to not do any of these disciplines! I just find them effective, so I thought I’d share ?
Ps: My song this morning was “Do it Again” by Elevation Worship
My “go to” reactions to stress, change, or hurt are: panic and obsession. I panic that I won’t be able to fix something and then I obsess about the situation until I am blue in the face. We all have different tendencies in our reactions to difficult situations, but what we all have in common is we all want to control the situation and create immediate relief. No one likes having a troubled heart or mind.
Whether you are going through a divorce, dealing with a wayward child, experiencing heartbreak, losing your job, or maybe you simply dread your daily tasks/routines… we all have one thing in common: and that is our natural inclination to control. I freakin love control. I like controlling the remote, I like controlling the music in the car, I like controlling the temperature in the house, I crave control. Now I realize I may have a more severe inclination to control than most (a.k.a. type A personality over here), but every single person on this earth has a propensity to control situations in their lives. It is our gut level response to unexpected outcomes. When our expectations aren’t met or our story isn’t being fulfilled the way we dreamt it to be, we immediately take matters into our own hands. Some people say “whatever happens… happens” but deep down they aren’t necessarily happy with the outcome, so they cover up their panic with calming words, but their hearts are restless. While others wear their hearts on their sleeve (me) and obsess over the situation by talking about it incessantly.
Before I try to bring encouragement to the surface, I’d like to mention that both categories of control are completely normal and are a part of our brokenness as humans. No one, not one is perfect or supreme. Therefore, you are not alone in your struggles. We all want our heartaches, confusion, and frustrations to be fixed. Again, you are not wrong nor crazy for craving healing.
Every person on this planet desires satisfaction. We want the wrongs to be right, we want justice, we want our sad tears to be wiped, we want people who harm us to suffer, and we want to be the ones who make these outcomes happen. (control). If there is one thing I have learned in my 21 years of living it’s that
Control is to be Surrendered, but Contentment is to be Embraced.
Now I realize every situation is different and perhaps you’re reading this going “this young lady doesn’t even know half of the crap I’ve been through…” While you are not wrong in thinking this, I pray I can still bring some encouragement and offer a fresh perspective.
Embracing contentment is a result of control being surrendered. For me, when I give God control of my circumstances, I am able to find contentment in any situation. When you trust someone, perhaps it is your spouse to watch your kids while you run errands, or your best friend to control the music in your car, or your sister to control the TV remote, the simple ability to trust them with those controllable tasks allow room for you to sit in contentment. These examples may seem silly or juvenile, but the same principle applies to heart-wrenching circumstances. We are relational beings, and so is our Creator. He wants us to surrender control to Him so that we may find pure contentment no matter the circumstance. When you worry or fixate on an uncontrollable situation, you make for a restless spirit and you risk the ability to find true healing. Perhaps brokenness wasn’t meant to be controlled but to be surrendered so that we can find contentment and joy… sounds like a decent trade off.
Bottom Line: Someone has to be in control. There has to be a pilot of a plane, driver of a car, owner of a business, ruler of a country, adult of the home, etc. So who or what controls your life? And if it is you, ask yourself if you have true peace, if you have peace that silences your thoughts before going to bed. Peace that guards your heart from unnecessary fear. Peace that reminds you of your worth and purpose on this earth… I cannot answer that question for you, but my peace comes from Christ’s love for me which ignites surrender of control.
Luke 12: 22-26
“Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”